your utter betrayal
mutter, mutter, mutter
you do this when
my heart began to flutter
started to melt like butter
your mind is ship
without a rudder, lost,
confused, my minds tell
me love her love her
now i am just
smutter to you and your
friendly gutter, in
the gutter my heart,
bleeding, muttering
ill and discontent
did you think you
just walk and
talk my mind and
lock up the truth
you’re making my
heart rock and you
mock my existence with
your knock on the gates
keys please next time
to forget you, i’m
plugging in my iv
see, now my blood
falls with my addiction
and free, be, glee
fill me in place, in
the place of hard, cold
and otherwise useless
lies. these i despise
crooked, filthy untruth
let loose in the ball-
yard
dear in ear
all year. cannot go
hear i leer and smear
blood over my face
in disgrace of our
affront, afraid pace
lace my hope with heroin
so at least i’ll loose
the weight, the baggage
you attached to my heart
and soul. i kept myself
whole. it has my role.
you console, your
goal was to have me
in your heart
be the art you admire
and now your wants are
crusting me with a mace
to my cart, my mark
i’m smart i could see
through your love-dart
but it hit me in the eye
my mind
instead, preferably lace
your false love, hope,
with crystal meth so
when you plunge me
when you submerge me
into the depths, depression,
i can stay awake for
days waiting for a flash
not tormented by
your lies and so i can
feel bugs crawl under
my skin rather than
your fingers
clenching
and pulverising my heart.
unplug your mind
from your rug and
get into the real world
your mind is sick, kick
start your life with
some slick dude who
will eventually “fick” and
lick your mind into
the place i am now. no.
you’re his, look at my
eyes. i want you to see
you again so you can
look at deeply and
repeat your bleat
again. i want you to
see the joy again, then
i want you to see the
wells pour out. more
than ever before
glory, your
wants and taunts
i am glad you are gone.
i don’t wish to
happen. i care too much
if that happened, i
would come in like a
baer and scare
that rare son of a
mare. all i am
trying to say is you
need to pay your
dues, let a rag in
may you be
well and your
heart gay.
now you have me
dining alone
with the fear of dying
alone.
i do not hate you
but to negate i am
not allowed to hate, if
you are late, i wouldn’t
take the bait. i wouldn’t
say great. i wouldn’t look
to mate right away. right,
i just cannot stand
your face desperate voice
or beauty because you
give reason trust in
your lust, disgust
stems of this blech
unsettling old dust
if i must confess, forget
i exist. i do not need
a larger puzzle to
put back together in
my chest, muzzle my
breast, my seizing
breast. i cannot
rest. sizzle and drizzle
your falseness over me
and let me cleft them
with my mind’s crest
it’s sharp it’s
just a harp meant
sing you a song.
if anything i want to see you see me see
you see me on the floor
sleepless, convulsing,
loathing my tears and
bleeding among my
besieged heart, if trust
was a structure, you
climbed to the top forgot
your harness was attached and
jumped under with
the intent of relent
but instead your jump
made the structure slump
and you pulled on last time
and it crashed down
on top of me. i am
sitting in front of a
remote-controlled fire-
place, wishing someone
would save me from
this unexpected wave
this poem sets you free
yesterday i sung an
hour for you. it
rung in my heart and in
yours too whilst you
were unaware not even
there. glare. my
song was long and
strong and you took it
wrong, that i don’t
belong but your gong
resounds still and your
words nil.
i’m not going to
let one bitch wreck
my wish to get out of
the ditch and find
love rich i am not
searching to itch,
i’m not even trying
to get hitched, i am
pulling out the stitch.
avoiding emotional lynch
and escaping witch-es
which strive to
glitch my heart apart
this betrayal
you are a liar
i am a victim
and you can’t
even see it.
